Inside Our Homeschool… Starting to Homeschool Again After a Loss

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This post is part of a series of homeschool snapshots.  No two families are alike so why should your homeschool.  Head to the Event Page to read the rest of the stories and find your tribe.

We’ve learned to navigate the tough waters of grief and growth while learning from home. 

Losing my husband in 2019, going from a family of five to a family of four, has been a world of adjustment. Grief is an insanely heavy weight to carry. That’s what I remember the most about all of it in the beginning, the weight of reality. 

And so how do you move forward with that weight and eventually how do you begin to shift some of that weight and eventually shed some of that weight? And homeschool. 

You have to figure out how to move forward and that comes with a lot of intention and patience for yourself and your family and the process of grief. 

Now in 2022, through many emotions, conversations, ups, and downs, we’ve begun to come out of the fog more completely. Bits of it still linger here and there, though, and often there seem to be new routes to learn and areas to just hold on through. 

Homeschooling has been no exception to this. 

Homeschooling through Grief and Acceptance. 

Accepting the natural process of grief and letting it flow was something that really helped when homeschooling after a loss for us. 

I tried to really tune into how I was feeling and how my kids were feeling, and I thought about what we might be craving or needing, like consistency, normalcy, etc. while grieving. 

I knew I couldn’t just snuff out the grieving process altogether, not even a little bit really. Emotional health had to be addressed. But I also knew I had to gather some semblance of a routine that we could count on and that would help motivate us to put one foot in front of the other when we needed to. 

Easing Into Homeschooling After A Loss. 

When it came to getting back into the books, pulling an idea from our beginning of the year homeschool routine was especially helpful. 

Each year, we start with just a few subjects, like morning meeting and family read-alouds, a little bit of math fact practice, etc. We take time to ease into the school year, gradually adding our other subjects back in throughout the week. By the end of the second or third week, we’re traditionally in full swing again.

Applying this concept to homeschooling with grief made the whole transition less overwhelming. I often had to remind myself I didn’t need to tackle everything all at once, and that if we were doing our best, and still honoring the grieving process, we were doing alright. 

Connecting Through Story. 

Being a Charlotte Mason-influenced homeschool family paired with my lifelong love of books, reading became a natural fallback for us during this time. If there were days we did nothing but read, that was okay as far as homeschooling went. 

Reading stories on the couch, around the table, at bedtime, whenever… pulled us together when we needed it most. It allowed us to share in emotions, excitements, disappointments and encouraged us to process our own emotions in life as a result. 

Sometimes stories will also bring about conversations kids just aren’t sure how to have. A book might open their mind a little more to grasp what it is they’re experiencing, and then they can have a better chance of communicating it. 

Remembering the Importance of Community. 

Isolation as a stay-at-home parent is no fun thing. It happens so easily. And when you’re grieving, that notion to isolate is so much more present. 

I had to come to a point and ask myself, “what is something that requires minimal planning…something that allows you to just plug yourself in and go with the flow (or with the flow to the best of your ability)…something that wouldn’t be too taxing to get yourself into and with community?” 

We didn’t have to socialize every week even, but we did need to a couple of times a month at the very least. Community is important. 

We started to check in with small local events, visited with friends when we could, tried new parks and field trip ideas, and did a little bit of short-distance traveling with family. Every bit of it made a difference. 

Knowing Your Support System. 

Leaning on others is definitely something I wish I would have done more of. However, as an introvert, it was also overwhelming. A support system goes a long way, though. No matter the size.

Support groups online or in-person, reaching out to other homeschooling moms and families in your life or online communities, is a good place to start. 

It helps to have an avenue to relate to others and have them relate to you. Going through hard stuff requires a sense of understanding from others that may be hard to find. It’s out there, though, and much more accessible than it once was. 

This is particularly important for grieving children and families so that each can receive the support they need at their level and pace. 

Losing someone so close to you causes a shift in everything around you. It’s a lot for adults and children alike. It alters your perception of life as you know it. 

Homeschooling through grief can seem like a mountainous task. Though, with resources to guide you, patience for yourself and your family, and a bit of community and support, homeschooling through grief can be a little less daunting for everyone.

This post is part of a series of homeschool snapshots.  No two families are alike so why should your homeschool.  Head to the Event Page to read the rest of the stories and find your tribe.