Inside Our Homeschool… Delight-Driven Learning With Only One Child

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This post is part of a series of homeschool family snapshots.  No two families are alike so why should your homeschool.  Head to the Event Page to read the rest of the stories and find your tribe.

Homeschooling an only child is a unique journey, but one that we wouldn’t trade for the world! We love our little family of three and the freedom and joy that homeschooling has given us.

We started out, like many families, sending our kiddo to public school along with most of our friends’ kids. After kindergarten and first grade brought struggle after struggle for our daughter (and sleepless nights for this mom), we decided to pull her from school.

We haven’t looked back! If you ask my daughter, she will tell you that she remembers what school was like for her and that she never wants to go back. As a mom, I feel exactly the same way.

Isn’t Homeschooling an Only Child Hard?

I’ve often been asked if homeschooling my only is hard. Honestly, when I talk with moms who have more children, I believe having an only is actually easier in a few key ways.

Not only can I give my daughter my complete attention, but I can customize every subject for her with creativity and attention. Since my daughter is neurodivergent and 2e, we have giftedness thrown in with learning challenges, and tailoring her curriculum is important! 

We can lean heavily on experiential, kinesthetic and visual learning. We can focus on strengths while building up areas that need more support. For instance, my daughter struggles with handwriting – in school, nearly all work is written. 

In our homeschool, we can work online, she can verbally give me an answer or explanation, or we can use manipulatives, flash cards,  or games to practice. I can assess her knowledge without tests or stress.

Having an only also makes homeschool record keeping simpler. I have a very simple record keeping system that works for our family and helps us capture all the everyday learning, not just the academics.

Another benefit of homeschooling an only child is building a close, trusting relationship. There is a popular trope out there that you can’t be friends with your child and also be a good parent – I disagree wholeheartedly! My daughter and I are great friends, and I’m also a parent who lays boundaries and corrects behavior.

Lastly, we have a very peaceful home. Our family, complete with our black lab and house bunny, is together all day every day – not only are we homeschoolers but my husband works full time from home. As an introvert, I enjoy the quiet (now that my daughter is older!).  

The S Word (Socialization)

For some reason homeschooling still conjures up images of families who isolate their kids and shun community – and the first question people have of homeschoolers is, “What about socialization?”

The truth is, homeschooled kids simply have a different kind of socialization. They often interact with adults as much as, or more than, large groups of peers. Homeschooled kids are often in groups of all age ranges and get used to playing with and learning from all kinds of people.

There are so many opportunities for to get social and meet other families! Even in our small town there is a vibrant homeschool community. Here are just a few ways we have connected with others

• Homeschool co-ops and park play days
• Dance, martial arts, swim & music lessons
• Scouting, 4H, and other service groups
• Volunteering
• Field trips
• Everyday life

I often tell my daughter that she’s a great friend maker. She has fine-tuned the skill of beginning conversations with people when we are out and about. She often compliments (sincerely!) someone’s clothing or jewelry, or asks to meet a pet. People are often surprised and delighted to chat. 

We are heading into our sixth year as homeschoolers, and I have zero worries about socialization, homeschooling only one child. 

Any homeschooling family that is living a full life that includes friendships, errands and shopping, and providing learning opportunities, trips to the park and library will have kids that learn to socialize in all kinds of situations.

Homeschooling Only One Child Means Flexibility

Another benefit to homeschooling an only child is the flexibility. We can homeschool around all of our schedules and outside commitments. 

You can create your own family rhythm around what works for you and your child. What times of day are you at your best? When is your child awake, engaged and at their best?

In our homeschool, our daily rhythm looks like:

• Cozy morning time, cuddled up with an iPad and a stuffed animal
• Breakfast, chatting about the day’s plans
• Pet care, a couple of chores, getting ready
• Lunch
• Homeschool time, which could be at-home academic work, baking (one possible career kiddo is considering), art projects, or music practice. Or it might be going to a music/dance lesson, field trip, or a play date with homeschooling friends with some planned activities thrown in.
• Dinner
• Gaming with dad, more work on craft or art projects, family movie night, board game time, or sometimes a trip to the beach or canoeing in the lake in summer to watch the sun set.

Simple. Low stress.

Homeschooling doesn’t have to follow a conventional school schedule. Nor do you have to cover every subject every day! 

In fact, as the years have gone by, we have become less structured and leaned more into interest-led learning. I want learning in our home to be about delightful discovery – not rote memorization. I wish we would have started this way, instead of trying to emulate school at home!

Having an only means you can deep dive into interests or follow rabbit trails of learning on any given day. We’ve often started out with a list of things I’d planned and end up on Google and YouTube looking up crazy questions my kiddo wants to find the answers to.

Doesn’t Your Only Child Get Lonely?

Yes, my only child can get lonely sometimes.

I think loneliness is a pretty natural feeling, and can even happen when you are surrounded by people. Going to public school and being surrounded by same-age peers isn’t a guarantee that a child won’t be lonely, nor is a house full of siblings.

When loneliness surfaces, my goal is to figure out what need is going unmet. What makes my daughter feel content and happy? Have we been too busy for playdates recently? Have I been glued to the computer for too many hours? Do we need a field trip day and to have some new experiences? 

Our focus as a homeschooling family has been to build close relationships with a small number of families, people who share our values and our kids (mostly) get along. This means on any given week we are having at least one gathering with other kids and building those relationships. 

Knowing we have these strong friendships has helped when we talk through any feelings of loneliness.

Another loneliness fighter: my daughter is a big fan of specially planned time with my husband or I individually. We call them mommy-daughter dates or daddy-daughter dates, and they usually involve ice cream!

These little dates are an important part of our homeschool even though they have nothing to do with academics: mental health, connection, and joy are core values for us.

Go Time vs. Home Time

I’m a firm believer that at-home days are needed and important. 

I love to plan and research to provide rich experiences, time with friends, learning adventures (we love Field Trip Fridays!), library trips, and strewing books and craft supplies to see if they catch my daughter’s eye. This past year we took violin lessons, Irish dance lessons, and were members of our local pool.

It adds up quickly and new homeschoolers are often surprised at how that calendar can fill up in a heartbeat!

So our at-home days are important. Days to recover, relax, stay in PJs, bake and have poetry tea times, read aloud, or watch interesting documentaries fill us up and give us rest while also being full of learning and relationship building.

My daughter also very much appreciates some uninterrupted video game time! We are a tech-positive and gamer family. Many evenings will find my husband and daughter on the couch gaming together in some battle royale, while I relax with a cooking game on my iPad. 

Finding your family’s balance is important! Don’t be afraid to do less and to put at-home days on your calendar with intention. 

Only Kids are Great Homeschoolers!

If you’re homeschooling an only child, know that homeschooling is a fantastic choice. Our family is thriving, and yours can, too.

You can overcome the challenges and provide a unique, custom education and life experiences that grow with your child. Best of all, you get to live and learn together, make memories and cherish the very short years that your kids are kids!

This post is part of a series of homeschool snapshots.  No two families are alike so why should your homeschool.  Head to the Event Page to read the rest of the stories and find your tribe.